Today’s topic is one I had to personally deal with after my break up with my kids’ dad all while realizing I had become something that wasn’t in my plan- a single mom. Can you relate? It shakes you. Right? Your mind starts spinning. How am I going to do this? Who is going to date/love me again? How am I going to do this? My babies! 🙂 And then, time passes, you get stronger, you come back to yourself, and you realize “YOU are a prize valued high above rubies. Who wouldn’t want to date/love you?” Like you may feel right now, I had to learn how to date with confidence. I did it and so can you! What follows are tips to show you how you should view yourself as you enter or re-enter the dating game with confidence. Read on.
5 Steps for Dating with Confidence as a Single Mom
1. Get your mind right
It really is mental. How you view you. Your outlook on men and dating. Whether or not you think love really exists for you. It’s all in your head. And because it is a mental game, you can beat it. It’s up to you thought. What do you say about you when you’re dating, when you make a mistake when you’re not in a relationship? It shows on your face, in your actions, the way you speak and it’s weaving a story about you to other people. I know! That’s a lot. I do a great deal of reading as a teacher, coach, and entrepreneur. Mindset is one of my favorite areas to study. It is in your mind where it all begins. And it is in your mind where your dreams, your better future, your new and good to you “Bae” all reside. What are you thinking? Get your mind right sis and get back in the game!
Speak well of you and do the work to mean it and you’ll be on the road to dating with confidence.
2. It’s all about what you want
Have you even thought about the kind of man you want? Do you know to a tee what qualities you want him to possess? What are your deal breakers? What are your must-haves? See, what you want you really do attract. Sure, I’ve dated a “blank blank blank” (fill in with what you will) before and I had to ask myself “What in me attracted that kind of man? Why didn’t I see it?” This is why not rushing from relationship to relationship is key. And why even though your friends want to see you in a relationship, you shouldn’t go out with every man you meet.
Know what you want hun and you’ll be on the road to confidently dating.
3. Make a plan
Did you know men plan who they want to date, pick who they want, and no one questions them. NO ONE. So, why are you just accepting any guy that comes by with a good job, good credit, and okay people skills? Of course, I’m being sarcastic but really sis, think about who you want to really spend your life with. This isn’t to say pick Idris Elba (although glory in the highest) but it is to give you an idea of what it is you want. And if you have no plan, you’ll hit that target every time.
Think about the kind of man you would really mesh with. Create a plan you can stick with not a list of 100 must-haves, but a what to do plan if you find yourself casually hanging out with someone you know you don’t want. Not on the plan, not on my dating radar. Be sensitive. This doesn’t throw people away from advice. This is you know what you want, so why are you somewhere you don’t want to be talking. Only you know the answer.
The plan is a guide. Be open to surprises. Life is wonderful that way!
4. Stick to your plan
It can be tempting to let loose and date someone you just love but unless he has what you ultimately want, you’re wasting time. Having a plan does not mean you can’t veer from it, but it is the thinking that keeps you grounded so you know what you’re doing. As I said and as you know, men do what they will because we let them. Your job in dating is the find the ultimate match for you who actually is good to you and for you. Not fine and fun. A good fit for you.
Having a plan will hold you steady when Good Looking Bad Boy pops into your life.
If you don’t have a plan, we need to talk.
5. You hold the cards and you make the rules
As you date, have fun. Please have fun! You are power-full. And sis, you hold all the cards. When you realize this, stick to it, and let it encompass you, you’ll have more confidence, attract men who actually want a woman of value, and move toward the life and love you want.
If you think I need to be married to prove this to you, I’m sorry. I won’t be marrying anyone who doesn’t fall in line with the plan, purpose, and vision for my life. But, if my vibrant, love of life, fearless attitude, know what I’m talking about have actually dated people long-term, and I care about you and the men you bring around your kids is good for you, let’s chat. Set up a consult or email me with questions, but sis, I need you to live and love the life you have. Do all of that!
I truly believe each step, have used them all myself, and am in the process of using them. Like you, my family wants to me just pick already. (Um, no!) You should hear my friends and family. “Stop being so picky!” Blah, blah, blah. Am I a piece of meat to barter just to hold a ring on my hand? Are you? Is all I’m worth composed of being married/in a relationship? Hell nah! And if you believe that, I’m sorry. I will not settle, and I pray this has inspired you not to as well. You know deep down what you want and it is your job to hold your feet and your potential suitors to it.
I’m rooting for you, sis! Keep your eye on the prize which is loving you, having fun, and living your life. Meeting someone who makes that experience better is the icing on the cake!
Why did I create this coaching?
I am tired of seeing moms not living because I was there. Just because one walked away does not mean life is over. I am here to say ENOUGH! If you’re tired of not having the life and love you know you deserve, of being afraid to even think of the process it takes to find love, of being stuck in a cycle of choosing the “not good for you” brother, click here. Let your kids see you living and loving.
Have you lost your confidence? Do you feel like you don’t know how to date anymore? Are ready to do the work needed to get you in the right frame of mind to live a life you love and that attracts the love you know you deserve? Then you are who I’m looking to work with to help you level up your love life. Time to stop hiding and invest in a coach. I’m here to help you get results. I love helping single moms prepare for love. Believe it or not, sometimes we are the ones repelling the love we seek. Ready to work? Click below.
Click here to chat with me about my Dating Confidence Coaching.
Wishing you the best in life and love. Remember, some folks won’t get you and that’s okay! Be you and do it anyway!
P.S.
How did you like the post? Would you add something else? Comment and let’s chat!
