Becoming a single mother is the life most of us do not dream about. However, good-hearted, faithful, hard-working, and fabulous women just like you have become single moms, risen above the stigma, raised amazing babies and lived their best lives. So, breathe, mama. You are going to be okay.
Below, I want to list 7 tips and really the 7 strategies I know have set myself and many others up to WIN at this new and often scary way of life. Through my journey, I’ve learned to embrace my singleness, see the good in it, and go after my dreams while I parented my two now almost grown boys. For 16 years, I’ve given my all to them while also giving to me. Sure, people told me like they will tell you yo focus only on the kids. No, ma’am. Where would that leave me when they grow up? Like my 28-year-old is not trying to live with me.
I’ve counseled so many moms who’ve stopped living in the name of parenting and in the process don’t know who THEY are. You can do BOTH. I believe I learned a lot, so I can teach you. You can thrive, too. Read on for 7 things you must do first when you become a single mother.
My 7 tips to skip the stress, decrease the worry, and boss up as a single mother.
1. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Don’t try to process it all at once. I know you will ignore me and do it anyway. But no amount of figuring it out will change the fact that when you become a single mother, it is you and your babies now. Breathe. You’ve got this!
It will be good some days and you’ll feel strong. Then, others, you’ll want to curl up and cry. Do it, get it out of you. Your babies need a leader and by golly it’s you!
2. Make sure the kids are okay
You can be dealing with so much that we forget that the kids need more than food and a roof. They need you. This is where you work on your healing and theirs. This will take time. Be honest. Let them know you are there for them but also need dome grace.
I write about healing a broken heart in my first book. Check it out here. I believe it will bless you.
3. Make a plan
Yep, sit down, dry those eyes, and resolve to make it sister! You can do this but not flying by the seat of your pants. You need a system and you need it now. Look at how you are running your life. Even if you’ve had a smooth life before this, trust me, you need to plan on kinks so you can balance and pivot and survive. I hate to tell you this but sometimes we are a mess, the kids are a mess, and life gets messy. That’s okay. Do number 1 as often as you need and plan on winning. I’ve created a life plan to help you out. Grab it here!
4. Look at the money and get it right
Yes, I put money as number 4. That doesn’t mean it isn’t important. It’s just that your mindset in this season is everything. Focus. Then, get the money right. Here is my life plan tips pdf to help you get you and your finances organized.
5. Set up a schedule to keep you and the kids organized
Your ability to maintain your sanity depends on how organized you are. Now, I don’t just mean the house. I mean knowing what is coming in and what is going out.
6. Live
If I could make this number 1 in terms of importance, I would. I’ve seen women dig in and parent and look-up and life have passed them by. Be sure to enjoy your life. Yes, even now in this season. Real talk: I was that woman. It took me 3 years to let go and live. Once I saw my anger and was only hurting me, I moved on. But it took time and I wish I could get those years back.
7. Shift Your Thinking
When you become a single mother, the first feeling will be “LAWD, woe is me”, How did this happen, anger, bitterness, heartache, disbelief, etc. You will experience a mix of these really. That’s okay. Feel them. Grieve the loss. Do what you must. And then get yourself up and parent. Get yourself up and raise those babies. Get yourself up and heal. Love again. Dream again. You deserve better, so how will you get it? You must shift from losing to WINNING. I’ll show you how.
Need to chat with an expert who knows EXACTLY where you are? Click here (calendly.com/KaywandaLamb/consult). I’m rooting for you, mama! Rise up!
