People often ask me how I did it. How I raised two boys on my own. And my answer is ‘I had to.’ But, the deeper answer is it was a process. Like many of you, it wasn’t my plan to parent alone. And so, once it all went down and I was left with the decision to stay in an unhealthy place, I decided that my babies would have what they needed and I could do it alone. I was already doing it all, but I assumed their dad would be able to help and that wasn’t the case. So, what do you do? You do what you must! That was many years ago but I can see it just like it was yesterday. I had to walk out every hard part. It was worth it. It was scary at first, but I made it. Today, I want to share some of the things that I did to ensure my dreams were front and center while I raised my boys. Because I believe if you have to parent alone, you should pursue your goals and dreams, too. Let your babies see you living, loving, laughing, and growing while raising them. One practice stands out. I want to share how writing my goals, thoughts, dreams in a journal and looking at them has helped me thrive as a single mom.
If you’ve been following me for years, you know I am a Christian and trusting God to provide for us and see us through was front and center every moment of my single parenting journey. I was working at a mortgage company when I became a single mom and soon went back to school to major in Spanish to become a Spanish teacher. All of that was because I wanted to AND I wanted a better life for me and my boys.
Throughout it all, I wrote down what I wanted, prayed about, and took action toward it. Read that again. It’s not enough to want it or even to pray for it. We’ve got to do some work toward what we are believing. So, let’s talk about 5 ways journaling helps you thrive as a single mom.
Journaling Supports Your Faith
When parenting alone, it is important to have faith. It’s a scary thing parenting alone especially if it’s unplanned. But, it can be done. I learned to build my support system and that helped so much. And I also wrote down my prayers, my thankfulness, my heart desires and that helped to increase my faith. How? By having a record of what I was believing for when it happened that encouraged me even more. Journaling supports your faith building. Keeping a journal or diary helps you keep track of what you’re believing God for in your life. I’m often surprised how years later something happens that I prayed about and forgot I said I wanted.
Journaling helps you focus
I began to write down what I wanted my life to look like. I have journals that I wrote years ago. I still love to write in journals today. (I’m seriously addicted at this point) I keep them to go back and look at my growth as well as any dreams I had written down to see if I still want to pursue them. You can use a notebook or a journal like this one to keep your sweet desires, goals, prayers, and dreams. By writing these things down, it helps you focus on what you say you want right now in this season. I love having multiple journals in various colors. This helps me readily identify the journal I need at the moment.
Journaling helps you take action
What is important to note is that I knew I couldn’t do all I needed to take care of a family of 3 on $26,000 a year. So, I began writing down the plan, my goals, my dreams and then thinking about what I needed to do next. Then, I took action. See, we can pray and believe all we want. We can write things down all we want. BUT, at some point, we must get courageous and ACT on what we believe. Then, God begins to work and make things happen. Does that make sense? Need some help to increase your faith as a single mom and uplevel your courage with the word of God? Order your copy of my 31 day devotional Parent, Thrive, Win!
Journaling helps you relieve stress and decompress
Yes, I used to write my frustrations down. This helped me stop complaining to my friends and to focus on moving on. Now, there are times when we need to vent and talk to people who love us. I’m a proponent of healing. I’m a BIG supporter of my friends and have a listening ear. But, you know what I mean. It’s gone on so long it’s wearing you and everyone around you out. You can sense it’s time to stop talking about what isn’t working and it’s time to shift what you are saying. THIS is powerful.
When you begin to write down positivity, when you think positively, you will begin to experience it. So, allow yourself to decompress. Just make sure you balance what you write. It’s good to record what is happening, but it’s important to speak life. The Bible says to speak life. Let the poor say I am rich. Let the weak say I am strong. Do you see why even God wants you to speak well? So, say what you need, what you’re experiencing, etc. But as you heal, you’ll begin to see only positivity. I’m not saying crap doesn’t happen and it will always be roses and sugar. I’m saying one day, you’ll get to the point where what someone is or isn’t doing doesn’t affect you the way it used to and journaling can help. So, follow up any negative things you recorded with thoughts of goodness and gratefulness. Sis, I’ve had some days where it was a fight to find something good but doing so changed my outlook. Give yourself grace and keep pushing.
Journaling helps you get clear on what you want
Out of all the benefits to journaling, this one is so key. Once you work through what you don’t want, begin to write the future you DO want, you’ll be closer to articulating what you actually want. There are so many benefits to journaling. As you begin to be inspired and build your hope and your game plan, you’ll begin to get more clarity about your next steps. Keep journaling. It has so many positive benefits that add to your self care. Here’s an article by The Daily OM on benefits to journaling. I can go on and on about the benefits of journaling, but I know you will gather more ideas about ways it can help you from these sources as well. Here’s another one by Healthline that includes ways to journal. I love this article because I use a lot of these. I love bullet pages, writing about my perfect day, and more.
As a Christian, I believe what God says and so we see a lot of practices come from what God has said. In Habakkuk 2:2, He says, “write the vision and make it plain.” When you journal, don’t just write what happened and how it made you feel, also write what you’d like God to do for you and your children. This adds to your faith as you read over your goals, dreams, and desires for good. I can’t explain it, but as I look back I know God was expanding my capacity as I wrote in seasons where I didn’t have what I wanted, but after moving toward it, I started to believe I could have it. I started to take action. So, the hunger you have to improve on this level will lead you to your next.
So, I challenge you to grab a journal like this one and start writing down your thoughts, goals, and dreams today. You can make one a prayer journal and you can choose a goals and dreams journal. Make some time to steal away in the morning or when your babies are asleep to decompress, dream, and believe. I believe keeping a journal will be beneficial in many ways as you keep building a life you love. I hope you’ve enjoyed these powerful benefits to journaling as a single mom. It’s therapeutic and also can be life-changing in so many way!
Comment below and let me know how journaling helps you or if you will be starting to journal soon.
P.S.
If you need more resources to thrive as a single mom, I recommend my signature book “DO IT ANYWAY! THE SINGLE MOM’S GUIDE TO LIVING LIFE AND ACHIEVING HER GOALS.” This book will be a game-changer for you. It will walk you through 12 phases we encounter as single parents and give you practical advice to apply to your life and it includes space to journal ideas, experiences, and next steps with prompts based on each chapter. I’d love to hear how this book blesses you!
