So, lately I’ve been working on building a video series for my online Academy for single moms and spending a lot of time inside my Facebook group called Parent. Thrive. Win! Sorry. I know. I’ve been blogging less because of that and well hurting cause my country is going crazy. But, I’m staying positive sis, and I know you are, too. I’m so glad to be back to blogging though and sharing some insight into my daily life.  And you know what? I have issues, too. Sure, I’m the single mom coach, and yes I know A LOT about single parenting and parenting in general to help you go through it smoothly. Who knew my being the oldest of 5 and raising babies long before I had my own would come in handy. But, listen, it’s still hard out here for a pimp. Or, am I a pimptress? Yes, I have a sense of humor. Listen, this past Saturday night, I finally got the closure I needed on whether or not I would have another baby. LOL! My adventures in babysitting as a single mom will have you thinking about birth control, so read on for the tea as to why I am NOT having another baby. Warning laughs may follow.

THE SETUP AKA THE BABY DROP OFF

So, many of you know I do this thing called “the cousin swap” where I send my boys to Louisiana for 2 weeks during the summer. My best friend in the whole wide world and I happen to have been born 2 weeks apart, and our parents are siblings. So yes, we’re tight. Since I’m an educator and have the luxury of summers off, I told her about 7 years ago that we should do this swap and that it would allow us both to get a “mommy break.” Let me tell you that has been an amazing thing to look forward to honey. I get so much done and find out what a nap is when they’re gone. Like really. What is that? 🙂 She also gets to have a breather. Now, our boys are best buds and have been since birth, so this makes it a no brainer.

So, we’ve established I’m childless. Right? Enter my cousin who just had a baby two months ago. Saturday, she messages me that she needs a break. Keep in mind, my plan for the day included Netflix and working on my business. But, I’ve been there. You may be there. What’s there? It’s that place where you need sleep, but you have mouths to feed and they need you ALL day long; so you really haven’t attended to your needs. And because you’re tired, you can’t figure out how to do it all let alone feed yourself. So, I said, “Yes. Bring him on honey!”

Did I mention I love babies. Like spazz out “love babies.”

Well, let’s revisit that blanket statement later.

She brings him and his gear. Claro! I’m excited cause … baby and …newborn. So how hard could this be? CHILE! He did not sleep a wink. She did hint at that as she drove by and dropped him on me. Hahaha! I would have done the same back in the day. After hours of making sure he was okay and didn’t even nod for 1 second without me swooping down to save him, I remembered she said quickly as she left my apartment. “Oh, you may need to hold him all night.” At the time, I laughed thinking “that ain’t gonna happen.” Listen Linda, he did not know what sleep was. I was so tired. I’m the President of the IBTC (think middle school) and so I had to prop up to give him a proper pillow and well, my back still hurts. Lol! (I’m writing this. I know. It’s TMI)

REVISING MY BLANKET STATEMENT

All and all the 2 total hours I slept between 8 pm and 5 am aren’t the reason I’ve decided not to have another child. I struggled with this the last 9 years y’ll. I have so much I want to do to help other moms parent well, thrive, and win at their goals that me with a baby at 39 nearing 40 would cause me to stop my ministry of empowerment and even with an involved husband (cause there will be one if you see me with a baby) I’m not thinking that will be enough to change my mind. We’ll see!

So, I’m choosing to rear the two I have and be available to move around the world and bless some women with this message that is so simple and so clear: Do It Anyway! That’s it. Decide that your life gets better now without a mate, without it all figured out. Now, because you desire to thrive.

THE REALIZATION

I laugh and all, but I enjoyed the little man. I’m glad I was able to help my cousin.  I realized that’s exactly what my cousin did for me 16 years ago. So, make a pact to check on a mom today single or not. We all need help honey.

And yes, Boaz gone have to be “Idris Elba” like for me to rescind this declaration. LOL! So, how about you? Have you closed the door on more babies? Or, are you like I was- stuck dreaming of little feet, powder freshness and fat cheeks to kiss? It’s your decision and for some it’s not as easy as a night of babysitting. But, decide you must. Take your time. I’ve literally wanted a little girl for 16 years, so no rush.

YOUR TURN

I wish you well whatever you choose. Parenting is tough. Babies are beautiful presents. The reality is when you’re doing it alone it’s just different. People who’ve never had to parent alone can’t understand all the bills, all the meals cooked by you and paid for by you, all the work done by you, all the EVERYTHING … yep, you do it. So, this is a special decision that we as women need to consider for our sanity, health, and the health of our relationships. I have to own why I’m not having another baby. Some may call me selfish. I call it brave. I call it purpose.

No matter where you are on your journey as a single mom, you got this. I know it’s hard. But by now you know how this is gonna end …

DO IT ANYWAY!

P.S.

If you’re near Dallas, you have to come to the brunch I’m hosting for single moms. I’ll be answering your questions and providing tips and strategy for you to rock it out right where you are with what you’ve got. This meetup is for you if you know you need that mommy break, could use some girlfriends to connect to, and want to cut your guesswork as a single mom in half. I’ve been through it and am here to help. Want more information? Go here. This will be a day to remember. Be there!