It’s been a rough two weeks, for me, you, the families involved, the world, and this country. I am the boldest, bravest chica, but these past weeks, I was so afraid. For real. This fear is amplified especially IF you belong to said group of people who don’t get the benefit of the doubt. So, luckily for me, my boys, and you, I came back to myself and I’m giving you what I did to pull up and I discuss how black lives matter to us all.

When stuff happens outside of your control like killing people because of their skin color when it has been documented that other people confront police a lot and STILL live … it gets pretty scary, pretty quick. And don’t give me the not complying crap. We have laws for a reason. Usually, I write about doing it anyway and rocking the life you’ve got. And, I mean/meant every word. Read on!

I wanted my Boaz ALL week long

To be honest, I don’t worry about not being married like I used to. It’s never been a priority hence I’m not married. It’s a serious commitment and one I want to make with someone who honors marriage. But, when the shooting deaths of black men reverberated around the country on camera and was repeatedly shown to us a million times, fear and more fear began to overtake me. I thought, “At least married women have their husbands to turn to.”

Now, that just assumed that they were less afraid because of their husbands being there which we all know is not true. Did it help them to have husbands? Yes. So, I realized I couldn’t whine to God about that. I had to sit my boys down and talk to them and not wait on Boaz because the trauma is now. Let’s be honest sis. We don’t know when Boaz is coming! (LOL) We got to live now! And so I had to get my life, pull up my big girl panties and parent! You must, too!

Relinquishing fear and rising up

So, after I had whined to God about why I/we have no male covering/priest in my/our home, it became apparent that I was the leader I was seeking. Until he comes sis, so are you. So, that required me not to pass my fear on to my boys, but to pray and seek answers. I had to rise up and take control of what I could control and that was me. We can’t do a thing with the world, but we can run ourselves and our homes. I read the Word of God and that encouraged me.

Here’s what you can do now

1. Contact your congressmen and women
2. Request to be on boards that include officers and civilians. Build bridges
3. Contact the NAACP and get involved or other organizations promoting justice and equality. Some founding members of the NAACP were white.
4. Speak up every time for everyone whether you know them or not
5. Pray
6. Talk to your kids about racism, humanity, caring, justice, profiling. Go there but on their level that they’ll understand that black lives matter.
7. Get you a safety plan together. We all have tornado and earthquake safety plans. Discuss safety with all of your kids.
8. Don’t be silent, but do not put yourself in harm’s way. We can change this thing by using our rights.
9. Be at peace and take care of yourself. Love on you and those babies!
10. Keep growing and serving.
11. REJECT any ideas and thoughts of race, class, belittling, stereotyping. WE are the change.

Here’s how to talk to your kids about Black Lives Matter

1. Sit them down and lay it out plainly. Kids can understand a lot if we present it in a way they can digest. This is not a car convo.
2. Be calm. I know I can get worked up. So, if that’s you, whoosah first so your point comes through.
3. Be sure not to paint it as a race war (although it sure seems like it) We who believe in good and evil know there are forces operating on both sides. As a Christian, I know the devil and his demons influence the evil we are seeing. So, we don’t want to turn our kids against their friends. We want to prepare them for what they are seeing.
4. Give them an opportunity to ask questions and share concerns. Explaining to them that black lives matter is going to be a lengthy conversation depending on their age. It has to happen. Hear them out and provide the best you can.
5. Give them tips on how to be safe. This is paramount. As a single mom, this is just friggin scary. As a black single mom, it’s atrocious, scary, and unbelievable. But, we have to find our fight. Our babies matter and we have to prepare them to live where some folks still don’t see how awesome they are or harmless.
6. Pray. I truly believe this is the key. Everyday mama, throughout the day, and at night lift your voice and ask God for blessing and protection, peace of mind, and clear direction.
7. LIVE, LOVE, and LEAD! No explanation is necessary. Rise up and be the change!

It is my hope to always give you a line of thinking that makes your journey a little easier. As a mom of beautiful black boys, black lives matter. Period. We don’t say others do not. We are simply saying what we’re seeing play out in our nation has to stop. Be encouraged! Would you add anything else to the lists? Share in the comments what you think we can do to improve race relations in this country, how you chatted with your kids, and if they are too young, how you plan to do so.

Blessings and as always,

DO IT ANYWAY!