As the biggest holiday of the year approaches, you might hate me for saying this, but here it goes. Your kids do NOT need any more stuff. There. I said it. Whew! Now, let me explain. Kids need you. All of you. More of you. Now, they don’t know that, so don’t go asking if they want you to hug them instead of getting a shiny new present. They will say no. But how many gifts did you buy, hunt down, and/or go over your budget to buy (only to have that same item sit on the shelf or worse, on the FLOOR)? (Purses lips and gives side-eye) Yeah, every time? Me too!

To combat this, you don’t need to buy the best gifts. Instead, you need to hunt for the best you. If your kiddos are asking for the following item, I want you to seriously consider reducing that list or eliminate some gifts not to buy for them.

In an era of entitled kids who do not know how to survive like you and me, let’s not add to their future struggles by giving them all their wants. You better be providing their needs, but you are not obligated to give them their wants.  Oh yeah, giving them more than you had without the work you did is a set up for failure. I said it, and I will not change my mind. Here’s the list:

Gifts Not to Give Your Kids for Christmas

Everything

Yes, I just said our kids do not know how to survive. What! Yes, they didn’t grow up when we did, didn’t go through what we did, yet we are trying to spoil them on our level. Why? Although they are beautiful, strong, amazing, and will do great exploits, we have handicapped them by making life so easy. Hmmm? I mean you tell me. Can your teen cook a whole meal, clean a house, work a full-time job, connect the dots on some things and issues, and make great grades? I’ll wait. They can do many of those things but may not be able to do them all- yet! So why are they getting Michael Kors bags, smartphones, designer jeans, etc? I mean just because you can doesn’t mean you should. You tell me. I want to hear your logic.

I’m not saying don’t give them nice things. I’m saying balance it and if you are seeing much attitude and light respect, you, my sister, need to remove some things aka the stuff you bought until that appreciation level increases. But, yes, keep pushing to teach them, mom. We owe it to our kids to give them what we’ve learned (values, had work). But, what I am noticing (and I have been guilty of it) is that parents are trying to give their children everything to make them happy. So, when they are not happy then what? How does an entitled, spoiled grown-up show dissatisfaction? Hmm? We’ve all see it and it ain’t pretty. No is a beautiful word and a complete sentence. We all need to hear it sometimes. Try it out!

Yeah, I’m not that mama today. For the record, I used to be. As a new mommy, I thought I was obligated to fulfill their every wish. It wore me out. I’m not and neither are you. We are obligated to love them, raise them right, teach them to survive, learn, grow, do!  But, we are not obligated to satisfy their every whim, i.e., spoil them.

I love this interview with Amy McCready with The Today Show. She hits the nail on the head about how giving your child everything will set them up for failure. I want my boys to be good men who are responsible and caring and can get stuff done. I don’t want to see men who whine about not getting their way because they were trained by their parents that just because they were born they deserved it. No ma’am and no sir, you must work for it!

You read right. It’s only one thing I recommend. Smiles. And for good reason. Read on to find out what you can and should give them instead.

What Gifts to Give Instead

So, as you embark on the hunt for the perfect gifts to buy, think “What am I teaching my child about how life works, to value, and what am I teaching them about me?” Sis, you are an awesome mom. More stuff won’t change that! Now, before you write to me about telling you not to show love to your kids, I’m not saying that. I’m saying don’t think all the stuff in the world will replace your love.

Over my years as a single parent, some Christmases were lean for us, but we always had love. If that is where you are right now, enjoy each other. Appreciate yours now. It is propelling you to your better days.

If you have more than enough and then some, rejoice, enjoy it and share your gifts with others. Life is about more than stuff. Let’s raise kids who value other human beings, respect what they have and most importantly show respect to the ones who have been there from the beginning (you).

May you and your babies enjoy each other this holiday. As always you’ve got this, too! You know what you need and what your kids need. But, if your Christmas list has you over your budget, I urge you to pull back. Get a few things they want and need and spend the rest of your time creating memories that will last. Not the latest gadget that won’t.

Parenting is not easy. We give them so much because we love them. But as you know, we only appreciate what we work for. Teach them appreciation. Teach them to give. Share them what you know.

Do It Anyway!

P.S.

Need help reconnecting with your kids? Know you gotta few issues to get over and are ready to deal with them? Pick up my new book Do It Anyway! I teach you 12 lessons I learned on how to heal, reconnect, chase your purpose, show up at home and in my awesome, and more!