How do you enjoy being single on the holidays? People think I’m crazy for saying this, but “I am happy to be alone/not in a relationship (right now).” Yep! In the absence of drama, insecurity about “where are we”, messiness, lack of support, cheating, aka foolishness, I have found my zen.

Now, I won’t always be single (and you won’t either), but I recognize the beauty in my singleness and in the mindset of “I am enough”. Though this post, I want you to see your singleness differently. Honey, a season of alone time is the perfect time to work on you, improve you, and catapult you into your zone of awesomeness. Don’t despise it just because you aren’t in a relationship. There is more to you than having a man! Okay. Rant over. But know that you have much to offer!

So, today I write on 5 Ways to Enjoy Being Single for the Holidays and LOVE IT!

But first, the three major issues most single moms have are as follows:

1. They need help raising the kids, i.e., discipline sucks and an extra voice and presence around the house would be great to keep kiddos in check (among other things. Fellas, we love you, but this post is not about you, so don’t get offended I didn’t list all your awesome qualities).

2. They need financial support. Raising kids alone is expensive. Uhm, yeah. One income for all of us! Yes, please send Boaz my way! I jest but even if it may be a little tight, being single for the holidays beats being miserable for the holidays. Been there. Done that. Not fun. Remember why you and your ex are over. Yeah. Helped didn’t it? I know.

3. They need to love and be loved. Every girl desires a Boaz. And in due season, you’ll meet, but don’t discount the season of singleness because it comes to teach you some things, to grow you up, to expose you to things as a married woman you couldn’t do. Yaas!

So, “how can I be okay being alone?” you ask. Well, I list 5 ways you can enjoy being single for the holidays without a boo thang and hopefully, you’ll come over to my side of the fence on this issue.

1. Love the folks who love you while being single for the holidays

You have so many folks in your corner and supporting you right now. I know you do. Stop and smell those roses. Tend to THOSE roses. (Of course, I mean the people in your life who are for you and rooting for you.)

Then, there are your precious kiddos. They need you and for right now, that is enough. Enjoy this season knowing that a mate will only add to the love you all already have. Grow the love you have and one day, you’ll have more to give the proverbial Boaz.

2. Pamper and Connect with you while being single for the holidays

Yes ma’am! Get up and pamper you! The sentiment here is “don’t wait for someone else to buy you a gift or tell you how special you are.” You know this, so act like it!

Go give you what you need NOW. And NO, you can’t say but you need a man. Lol! You want a man, but in this season you don’t have him because there are some things you need to pay a little more attention to. Do that. And honey, one of those things is YOU.

To be able to love another, you must first love yourself. Trust me that quiet confidence will bring him right on over!

3. Throw a holiday soiree for you and other singles (and married) friends

I love get-togethers. Love them! The perfect way to beat the winter blues is to warm up with a fun soiree with only the best fun-loving folks allowed. Have a party that is kid and adult ready. The kiddos can have their fun and you can, too!

Start your holiday party planning now! Get the friends involved and be sure to have activities that include everyone. Nothing like a potluck for the holidays- food, friends, and fun!

4. Take some time to get clear on what you want in a relationship

If you don’t know what you want then any man will do. Once you have any man, you WILL want to throw him back! Lol, but so serious. Take some time to get clear on what worked last time, what didn’t, and be okay with the lessons that come from it. New gifts won’t fix that. Take the time to heal and prepare for the love you say you want!

Many of us gorgeous amazing women are single for various reasons. But, if you’re single and would like to be in a relationship then you must first make sure you are relationship material. That,  sis, takes work. Work you can’t skip. Answer the questions below to see where you are:

Are you incapable of letting a man lead and “be the man”? Do they need that you know?

Do you bring old baggage into new relationships? Yeah, no. No bag ladies here! You must release all of it if you want your new love to stay.

Are you too dependent? Negative. No man, no matter how perfect and sweet has time to counsel you on why you must be independent for him to love you.

Do you have time to date? Are you super busy with dreams, careers, and kids? Now, maybe a time to see what you can reduce or remove and where you can make room for love.

All these questions and more must be answered before you begin a new relationship. So, take some time to assess where you are, get clear, and then welcome the possibility of good love.

5. Switch it up a little!

Why not take you and the kiddos (or just you) on a road trip. You don’t have to go to mama’s house this year. You all could do a family vacation to a snow-filled Denver or a warm Florida or wherever the dart lands on the globe. SWITCH IT UP!

This is your life and you deserve to live NOW and enjoy it now. No waiting and believing you can’t live and enjoy your now because you aren’t booed up.

Nonsense!

Take yourself on a vacation of a lifetime. Need to be on a budget? Trust me I would be too! Plan it with the kids and utilize great flight deals and hotel deals. They exist! Get ready for great family memories!

Whatever you do, decide to not waste another minute pining about your singleness. Get up and enjoy it instead!

Chile, enjoy yourself! By yourself! Take a road trip and woosah!

Well, I hope these gave you life and permission to be your best self and huge encouragement that singleness is a season to be lived through and not moped through! Let your kids see you soaring and rockin’ the life you got!

Huge blessings and Happy Holidays from my family to yours!

XOXO,

Kaywanda

P.S.

Would you add another tip? Comment below and let a sis know how you enjoy the season you’re in!

Kaywanda Lamb is an author, speaker, and single mom coach. She helps women balance their dreams for their lives with the reality of single parenting. Her motto is Do It Anyway and through her, women are learning to fight for their dreams and be good parents.  

Her new book “Do It Anyway: The Single Mom’s Guide to Living Life and Achieving Her Goals” shares Kaywanda’s 12 lessons or steps to living a life she loves while parenting alone. It is available for order Here.