Today is Single Mom Sunday and so it is fitting to begin a new weekly series on Sundays where women like you and I can share our journey in “singlemomdom.” I know. I made that word up. But, it is no less real. What we do is life-changing, beautiful, and sometimes grueling. We make the world go round for our babies, and we are fabulous honey! So, if you are thinking of dating again to welcome a new relationship, read on to find out how to wait for love as a single mom.

With our awesomeness as women in mind, today’s guest post is from a young lady who was once a single mom and has now met her Boaz. She gives tips to help you on the journey while you keep living your life. And, she does a darn good job! I was reading and saying ‘Preach!’ intermittently.

To all my single sisters who are waiting expectantly for their earthly king, I want to encourage each one of you and to bring you some wisdom. First of all, I don’t care how old you are, how many mistakes you have made, how many children you have, your income level, etc. None of these things disqualify you for dating or marriage. I had to get this straight from the beginning because as women we will tell ourselves lies or accept the lies we’ve heard. Please get rid of every reason you keep coming up with for not being marriage material.

Although, I am married I was once single just like many of you. I raised 3 children alone with no support from their dad for several years. I went through a phase of being content casually dating to finally having a desire for marriage. Not a desire for any type of marriage but a godly marriage. Below I want to share just a few things with you from my own personal experience. 

Accountability Partners

During your waiting season surround yourself with positive like-minded people who you trust. These people should be someone who will fast with, pray for you, and with you on a regular basis. Each time you feel a lonely call on them. Call on them when you feel tempted. Let them know who you are dating, when you go out, etc.

For example, I had 3 friends. We communicated on a daily basis and held each other accountable. I called on them when I felt weak in my flesh or spiritually. I called on them when an ex would try to come back into my life. I called on them every time a guy showed interest. This held me accountable and kept me from many of Satan deceptive traps. Accountability partners will help you fall into sexual sin. 

Wait Expectantly for Love

As you are thinking of dating again and waiting for your earthly king, wait with an expectant heart. Expect that our Heavenly Father will send your earthly king any day. Do not sit up complain about how long the Lord is taking. Do you remember how the Israelites complained? They were promised something but did not receive it. However, their children received their promised. Remember we serve the same God. Just talk to Him about it. You must trust His timing above your own.

Also read: Good Love

Wait on the Lord

This is not the time to take matters in your own hands and either settle for convenience or go out seeking yourself. Sarah got tired of waiting on her promise of having a son and took matters in her own hands. This situation led to adultery, jealousy, dating here and there, a baby out-of-wedlock, and an innocent child who did not get a chance to grow up with his father. Looks familiar? This same thing is going on today. It’s just not worth it.

It’s Ok To Desire Marriage

Have you heard this saying before, “If it’s the Lord’s will” or maybe, “I guess this is not the Lord’s will for my life.” WHAT? I want to scream when I hear this. If you are speaking these words or even feel them then guess what? You are operating out of fear and not faith. I hate to tell you this but the Lord does not reward fear. He rewards faith. If you look at all the stories in the bible He rewarded those who operated in faith. Faith is not just a belief but it is an action. The word says “If you delight yourself in me I will give you the desires of your heart.” Where do you think the desire for marriage comes from? The Lord Himself. Don’t you know that He is the Creator of marriage?

For example: If I believe that one day I will be blessed with an earthly king then I will have an expectant heart. I will move beyond asking the Lord for an earthly king but will begin to pray for my earthly king as if I already knew him. I will stop casually dating and only date with a purpose. If I don’t know how to cook I will take this time to learn how to cook. I will read books, watch videos on marriage. I will speak words of faith instead of defeat. Or maybe, I will actively pursue healing from past hurts, etc. I will sow into other marriages by praying for them, babysitting so they can have a night out, or do things to be helpful to other married couples. 

Learn To Be a Prayer Warrior

This is one of the most important things that will keep a marriage or any relationship. Society tells us that stilettos, dressing sexy, performing all those sexual acts, dating, cooking, etc. will keep a man. I am here to tell you that it is a myth. All those things will catch a man but it won’t keep him. Look around at all these beautiful women who appear to have it all going on but are still single. I am not putting anyone down but I am being honest.

Stilettos can not keep a husband from falling into deception. A tight dress can not keep a husband from falling into the kingdom of darkness. All that makeup can not keep Satan out of your home or marriage. Performing all those sexual acts will not keep a husband from committing adultery. My sisters, please do not be deceived. Prayer and obedience are what will keep your husband every time.

Idolizing Marriage

Getting married has become an idol for many singles. People are pursuing marriage and the idea of getting married more than our Heavenly Father. Sometimes we innocently fall into this trap. The older we get family and friends keep asking “When are you getting married?” More and more of your friends are getting married. You have been to numerous weddings, bridal showers, and probably have been in quite a few weddings. Maybe you feel like you already have everything else. You have the degree, the car, a house, and maybe kids already, but no ring. So now you feel the pressure. Make sure marriage is not an idol in your life. The only thing you should be pursuing is the Lord and everything else will fall into place.

Live Your Life Now as You Wait for Love

Do not tell yourself I am going to wait until I get married to move, buy a house, finish my degree, travel, etc.” Do it now. Do the things you desire right now. Why? Please know that in marriage you will have to make many sacrifices. That means it may be years before you will get to do the things you want to do in life. Then, later on, you will regret it. Marriage is all about sacrifice and putting the needs of your spouse before your own. So I encourage you to go ahead and travel now, buy that house, finish the degree, pursue your dream…do it NOW!

I hope these tips will help you while you are in your waiting season. Again, I want to encourage you to not give up but keep trusting the Lord with your desire. Run from those who complain about marriage or never have anything good to say. My prayer for you today is that the Lord will hide you from every counterfeit man and keep you from the heartaches. Be blessed!