As we wind down 2014 and gear up for 2015, I want to issue a challenge to all the single moms out there: “Stop blaming yourself for any and everything your kids do!” All you can do is be the best parent you can be. They will make some mistakes even with fantastic parents. So, as you get ready to be even more awesome in 2015, remember to eliminate guilt and try these 5 things:
1. You are one person doing the work of two
Sure, it would be nice if you had some help. But, look how well you’re providing for your family. Keep pushing. One day, Mr. Right will show up. Until then, work on. It’s not in vain. This is not a reason to cop-out or do less, but more of a call to give 150% because they need you. I know it isn’t easy. I do this every day just like you. Even if your eyes are closing and your body hurts from working all day, keep going until the last kiddo is fed, homework done, and in bed. This is work that matters!
2. No one loves your kids more than you
I know I will fight a bear today! behind my boys, a lion, whatever for them. So, as a single parent, it is the love you have that inspires them, pushes them to be what you know they can be. Show it every day and as a family, keep working together. This parenting alone in some ways is a plus. So many kids wish they had a mom like you. Don’t despise the now, enjoy it. I see kids with two parents who have no idea what is going on in their kids’ lives. Although you’re doing your best and you may feel it isn’t good enough, just know that your love is making a difference.
3. Get rid of the guilt! No one supports your kids better than you
Be their cheerleader. You are the one they want to show their successes to. I know it’s hard and you’re tired, but do it anyway. I have gone home and missed a few events, but I always tell mine in advance. I’m not saying be at everything if work or work-life balance doesn’t permit it. But, be present and support them ’til the end. No one can do it better than you!
4. You are amazing and deserve all the good in your life
The job of a single mom is a hard one. Sometimes, the kids don’t say thank you or appreciate the car service you’re running with no pay, but just know it’s coming back to you. All the good you’ve given will return to you. Stay focused. It may be in the form of more peace, it could be a new love, it may be fantastic kiddos that grow up to be fantastic adults, etc. Just know it is coming your way. When you’re exhausted and you think you can’t go on, go anyway! They need you. Now.
5. Your family will be blessed because of the work you put in
Speaking of awesome adults that make the world a better place, your input is building awesome children that will one day change the world. Every Yes and every No (which they need to hear sometimes) is building resilient kids. Because you are constant and involved, they will know how to be consistent, dedicated, hard-working people. Relax! They will rise up and call you blessed.
No Guilt for You!
P.S. I know it’s hard to see right now, but just continue to do your best. Even when you know you could have done better, they think you’re the greatest. Take out time to recuperate and love on you this year. Now that’s a New Year’s Resolution! No guilt. Just love, hard work, tenacity, and dedication to what matters!
Single parenting is really hard. But, you’re going to make it!
Do It Anyway!
